Say Cheese 2

She didn't offend me AS much this year, just told me I looked like the high school kids she photographs.  I suppose I'll appreciate that one day, or so I'm told.

Say Cheese

Picture day is tomorrow.  Kids are so cute on picture day.  To look at, anyway.  The whole waiting in the smelly old gym for an hour with nothing to do isn't very cute.  Last year at that time, I was in my own personal hell.  It happened to be right smack dab in the middle of the free fall of death stage (see First Year of Teaching graph) and I was just trying to keep myself alive.  I was the last one in line.

"I get my picture taken today too, right?  For the yearbook?"

The photographer just looked at me blankly.  "You know, there are retakes in a couple of weeks."

"Retakes?"

"Yeah," she said.  "If you didn't want to get your picture taken today.  For some reason."  She stared at some place between my eyebrows and my forehead.  Maybe my hair... when was the last time I washed it?

I must have looked pretty rough for a school photographer to tell me to wait to get my picture taken.  Especially since she had just shot a girl in lime green skinny jeans without skipping a beat.  Needless to say, tomorrow I'm pulling out all the stops.  I don't want my self-confidence to be blown by a poorly paid broad with a camera.

Maybe the reason I have so much to do during the week...

...is because I spend all my weekend time doing things that are completely ridiculous.  Like becoming so inspired by Nelly's new song (seriously... I love it.  Takes me back to my dad driving my friend Cortney and me to middle school as we rapped Hot in Hurr) that I spend AN HOUR AND A HALF re-writing a new version about student achievement to teach to my kids.  Not only did I spend that long writing it, but I also practiced it.  With dance moves.

Productive start to the weekend...  I'm including the video so you can get as pumped as me, but you'll have to wait until we finish our official class recording for my version.  Until then, enjoy the inferior Nelly one with a small taste for what the chorus will say-

I was thinking ‘bout life, thinking ‘bout dreams

Thinking 'bout the future, who we gonna be

Open up my eyes and say, gotta follow all my dreams...

Halloween's A-Comin'

Halloween is a pretty controversial holiday around here.  Hence the blog title.  One of my kid's legitimately told me that October 31st is the devil's birthday.

At school, it means having a book character parade in order to fend off zealous parents who don't want their children participating in pagan rituals as offensive as wearing costumes.  Talking about the big event today in planning made me reminisce back to my Halloween days.  I cried pretty much every year because October 31st in upstate NY might as well be the dead of winter.  As a result, we had to wear winter coats.  Thick winter coats.  Under our costumes.  This meant instead of being a beautiful angel, I was a fat angel.  Instead of a graceful butterfly, a fat butterfly.  And instead of a freakish clown with blue hair... actually, the fat part probably didn't really affect the coolness of the costume.  Still, that kind of stuff sticks with you.

Leprechauns

In the middle of crisis time (aka a student sprinting away from my room because I "ruined his great day"... probably by trying to teach him something), another one of my kids came up to me and tapped me repeatedly on my arm.  Kid in the hallway crying, exasperated teacher... perfect opportunity for this conversation in this student's eyes.

"Do you know why I don't like leprechauns?"

Really?  REALLY?  Leprechauns?  You're sorting shapes.  How does a leprechaun factor into the situation?

"Because they're STEALERS."  Good to know.

Misnomer

I called a Charlotte restaurant today to make a dinner reservations for Jack and me.  They asked me for my last name and I paused.  How many times had I given my own last name and then spent 10 minutes trying to clarify the pronunciation and the spelling?  Too many.  I decided to finally just make it easier and use Jack's last name.

"Abbott," I replied, ready to hang up.

"And the first name?" the hostess asked.

Shit.  Since when do they ask you for the first name too?  I had two choices.  The first choice would be to suddenly deepen my voice and reply "Jack" as if I had just turned into a man.  I opted for the second choice.

"Sara."

"Alright, Ms. Abbott, we have you down for seven o'clock!"

It was fun to explain to my boyfriend why our reservation was under Sara Abbott.  Didn't creep him out at all...

Mission Accomplished

See ya later LSAT... at least until November 1st when you invade my life again with your score report.

To tell you the truth, it really was not that bad.  I got to sleep in past 4:30 am, it was a beautiful day, and I got to work in a quiet room free of scabies and ringworm.  Overall, better working conditions than I'm used to.  It was funny to listen to people during the break too, especially the people that you could tell were still in college.

"Oh my God, if I have to read one more second my eyes are going to fall out."
"I can't believe it's only halfway over... how are we going to keep working in that room for another two hours?!"
"This is awful."
"I need another beer." *Note: yes, another beer.  The kid sitting next to me admitted to picking up a cold one at 7:30 before leaving for the test to calm his nerves.*

Like I said before, compared to what I'm used to- kids peeing their pants, tapping my arm incessantly asking for a pencil, and spending 12+ hours at school- this thing was a piece of cake.  I'm wondering what these people are going to do when they actually get into law school and have to read for *gasp* more than two hours.  Or what they're going to do when they get a job and they have to work for eight (or more, realistically) hours CONSECUTIVELY.

I can't poke too much fun, because I'm pretty sure I was the same way before I graduated.  And I definitely downed a few cold ones in celebration of finally being done after.  But still, it was mildly amusing.

Now, on to the equally time consuming process of law school applications...

Moment of Truth

LSAT tomorrow.  Big day.  I decided to prepare by giving myself a pedicure and shaving my legs.  Like it's a big date (sorry Jack).  I've also begun to exhibit the extremely nerdy side of myself that I normally try to keep under wraps.  Some examples?

• I sharpened ten brand new Dixon Ticonderoga soft No. 2 pencils to bring along with me.  Yes, ten.  And yes, I have a very specific favorite brand of number two pencil.  If you don't know what brand I'm talking about, then you obviously have never used a quality number two pencil.  And I'm bringing ten just in case I become possessed by something that causes me to savagely break nine pencils during the course of the test.
• I'm also bringing a jumbo size pink eraser.  In case I fill in the wrong bubble two thousand times and use up all the erasers on my ten pencils trying to correct the mistake.
• Can't forget to bring the mini pencil sharpener... because there is such a high likelihood of all ten of my brand new, super sharp pencils will break.
• I spent 20 minutes planning out my outfit, with a specific layer for any possible temperature.  I don't think I spend that much time picking an outfit to wear when going out, and I definitely don't spend that much time picking out what I wear to work.

Wish me luck.  And pray that my pencil sharpener doesn't malfunction (just in case...)

We actually reach full maturation at age six

I've found a kind of scary parallel between college students and first graders in the past year.  It's weird how many things seem like a flashback to when I was in school- I never thought I'd be cleaning vomit off a carpet again, at least.

Today, it that feeling was stronger than ever after I found an index card in my room that said "I love Immanuel.  as my boyfren."

I pulled Immanuel over to me and asked him whether he knew who wrote it.

The look he gave me was a look filled with so much fear and horror I thought something else had happened to him.  He started to cry, and in between his sobs he said, "I... don't... have... a... girlfriend..."

The funny part is I'm pretty sure I've seen that face before in college.  I think that's how most 20-something guys act when they're the last ones to find out they have a girlfriend.  Jack reacted the same way when he found the note I wrote about him being my boyfriend in the Psi U basement bathroom.