Just got done watching Christmas Vacation for the first time, away from my family for the first time. It made me think about what we expect out of the holidays and how well (or poorly) things live up to those expectations. In the movie, Chevy Chase sets his hopes high for a big family Christmas, only to find everything going wrong. In the end, though, he finds...
Well, I wouldn't know because the DVD was scratched. See what I mean?
My parents love Christmas, if you don't remember from past holiday blogs. It's actually a family-wide epidemic. But I think we're all guilty of trying too hard to make things perfect. One year, my dad got us a gingerbread house kit. Most of my time was spent shoving gumdrops in my cheeks while no one was looking. Kristin was just as fascinated by the random blinking of the Christmas tree lights. After a few minutes of my father capturing us hastily attaching Necco wafers to our roofs with frosting, the video cuts out and then back in, with a time stamp of 2:08 am. The finished homes looked pristine, sparkling in the light of the garlands that adorn the inside of my house from November to March. A background narrator describes them in flowing, poetic language, sounding like a strange mix of James Earl Jones and Santa Clause. Clearly, it was not the work of the ADD and childhood obesity Fiorillo elves, but rather that of their father, the beer-drinking elf with a knack for home improvement (even of the edible type).
When I first thought about this idea, it made me sort of sad. It seems people are more likely to be disappointed with all this idealism. But the more I thought about it, the more it made me think that it was why the holidays are so special to most people. No matter who you are, Chevy Chase or Lou Fiorillo, you want the holidays to be perfect. Sure, things are going to go wrong. The favorite Christmas DVD is scratched. Winter alerts screw up your travel plans. The cookies get burnt. The turkey is dry (or raw). You end up compromising and fixing the things that go wrong, all in the name of a Christmas you can look back on with "perfect" memories. In the end, it's all the effort behind the perfection that everyone remembers. My family will never forget the Extreme Gingerbread Home Makeover my dad performed on our gingerbread houses, just like we'll never forget the drive of death in a white-out blizzard where all my brother did was point out the new minivan's feature of telling you when the tires were slipping ("Pa, you're slipping... SLIP! You're still slipping!"). We remember not because the experience was perfect, but because it ended just fine. And usually with a couple of festive cocktails.
So, in the spirit of Christmas, let go of those expectations. Accept the bad roads and the awkwardly shaped cookies and the tipsy inappropriate grace at family dinners because those things are what make these times memorable and special. Enjoy your time with the people you care about, people who are pretty awesome even without all the garland and carols and holiday cheer. Merry Christmas everyone.
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