Go Getter

I was afforded a lot of extra think time today thanks to the hopelessly boring drive from Western Massachusetts to my house in Painted Post.  The monotonous scenery and static-ridden radio stations are enough to make anyone's mind wander.  I, considering myself an especially pensive person (mainly because of an overactive imagination and a tendency to try to write novels in my head), was no exception.

I got to thinking about how the best way to get the life you want.  I thought about all the things I have done (or not done), about what has gotten me to the point I am at right now.  And I realized that it's actually quite simple.

You just have to go out and get it.

Okay, okay, this isn't always as easy as it sounds.  Most people believe that they do TRY to get the things they want in life but I think usually people just don't try ENOUGH.  I used to be (and in some ways, still am) a very shy and passive person.  I hated making people go out of their way.  I'd eat food I didn't order, avoid eye contact with acquaintances to get out of small talk, and nix voicing my opinion because I didn't want to cause a conflict.  That is not how to do it.

The main reason for this is that people aren't mind-readers.  This applies most directly to people-to-people relationships.  Most people think that their eye twitches alone are enough to let others know how they feel, as if they spoke in some kind of bodily Morse code in which all human beings were fluent.  Even the most perceptive people I know cannot pick up on everything.  What you have to do is TALK.  ASK.  I have always wanted to get on a direct flight when I have connections.  I never ask or, if I do, make a very pathetic attempt.  Recently, I went up to three different ticket counters to get on a direct flight.  And guess what?  I got on one.  All because I asked.  Maybe three times... but still.  I asked.

And sometimes, when asking isn't enough or when it waters down your request, you just have to take it.  One fellow TFA corps member put it quite nicely-

"In teaching, I've learned that you're better off asking for forgiveness rather than permission."

If you do something and it works, people tend to forget that you weren't supposed to do it in the first place. Hell, that's how I showed my boyfriend I was interested and it's one of the only times I've ever really put myself out there rather than waiting for someone else to do it themselves.

In re-reading this I realize it sounds like one of those books you find in the self-help sections, usually with a picture of an overweight balding guy holding his arms out as if to say, "Look how happy I look!  This stuff must work!"  That's not really my intention... just wanted to point it out.