To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing to inform you of my intent to resign from my position of summer laziness at the close of business on Monday, September 6, 2011 (which ironically falls on Labor Day, a national holiday on which no business aside from relaxing with friends and choice beverages will take place). In spite of the many positive aspects of my current situation, I have been offered the opportunity to go into unspeakable amounts of debt so that I can do nothing but read and highlight what I read without break for the next three years of my life. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I have spent skimming shallow beach novels, watching trashy TV On Demand, taking health risks by absorbing UVA/UVB rays, and sleeping without setting an alarm and/or allowing natural light to wake me.
I will continue to faithfully execute the duties of this post for the remainder of my contract, including the previously planned trip to Painted Post, NY where I will close out my partnership with the late summer sun and tanning season and shadow the carefree retirement lifestyle of my parents. I appreciate the lack of structure and blissfully empty days with which you have provided me, and leave with nothing but the utmost respect and gratitude of my time here.
Sincerely,
The Lazy Bum
P.S.- Do I have to go?
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