I think this is what I really meant to blog on when I thought about growing up and all of that business. Reflecting on the fact that I am 23 now, and finally at the age when birthdays stop meaning anything. My kids were so cute when they found out it was my birthday, probably because we're finally starting to love each other. They were trying to guess how old I was. The first guess was 31, which kind of depressed me, but listening to their "logical" guesses after that (ranging from 90 to 9) I realized that they still need work on North Carolina Standard Course of Study Competency Goal 1 (number sense... duh).
But after spending the day telling them to sit up and stay focused and finish their work and use nice words... I started to wonder when those become things we beginning doing without being told. I think of it every time I sit in a chair without my feet on the floor, when I don't tell the cashier they didn't ring up one of my frozen dinners, when I check my cell phone during a TFA lecture on the core values. Don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal, pay attention- as children we believe that all adults follow these cardinal rules, that with growing up comes a maturity that is built only from time, minutes upon minutes up days of sheer experience. We believe that growing up happens simultaneously as we grow bigger. We believe that virtues like honesty and loyalty come out like facial hair or hips.
That's not true. I think that's one of the most disturbing things about growing up. The moment I realized that adults lied and cheated and stole, that they could be wrong, I felt this sense of disgust. How can children ever learn if the adults in their lives are doing things that, had they been back in 1st grade, would get them referred to a school therapist and admin team. We use the labels in the schools all the time for our kids- crybaby, bully, manipulator- but some of these things don't wear off with a growth spurt and a dose of puberty. At least not unless you take the initiative to follow those basic rules introduced in kindergarten and have people around you shaping you into a better person.
Just a birthday thought.
Seeing you this weekend made me read your blog. So here is a story for you regarding this blog. When I was in 6th grade, my favorite teacher, Ms. Healy, was the funniest and coolest teacher I had ever had. I loved going into her class, and for it being a math class, it says a lot! THAT WAS UNTIL I SAW HER SMOKING A CIGARETTE! I couldn't look at her the same, because my parents had convinced me that cigarettes were evil, which I took to mean that anyone that smoked them were evil too. She went from being my favorite teacher to one I despised because she hadn't lived up to my standards. I believe that day I lost my innocence and that is why you know the Nicole you love today. Ok I guess I have to get back to work now. Hope this adds to your blog.
ReplyDeleteBye Teach!
Love,
Nicole