My Double Life

I like to make myself into a new kind of person for my kids.  I wouldn't exactly call it lying, but I do take advantage of the gullibility of young children and stretch the truth.

Cases in point:

• Telling them how old I am.  This year, for some reason, I have decided to convince my kids that I am old.  Not older- old.  I want them to tell their parents that their first grade teacher is a decrepit old lady that can barely get around without having to pop her hip back into its joint.  It started involuntarily when one of my kids asked what all the black under my eyes was.  At first, I thought she meant I had makeup running or something, but quickly realized she was talking about under eye circles.  After that I was determined that they attributed any sign of me looking tired or irritated as an effect of my old age.  I think it makes them take me more seriously.
• Making them believe I'm the next Beyonce.  I rap the alphabet song and sing pop music, then casually add comments about how good I am and that I should be on the radio.  They don't really do much besides agree, so it's a real self-confidence booster.
• Convincing them that I am best friends with any adult they might ever come in contact with.  The other first grade teachers, their mom, the principal, Santa Claus- I may even go as far as to edit myself into fake photos.

 Short post, but I'm very tired.  After all, I'm pretty old for a teacher/pop star.