"I’ve come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized."
- Dr. Haim Ginott
"We learn by teaching."
- James Howell
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement, nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
- Helen Keller
"A very wise old teacher once said: 'I consider a day's teaching wasted if we do not all have one hearty laugh.' He meant that when people laugh together, they cease to be young and old, master and pupils, jailer and prisoners. They become a single group of human beings enjoying its existence."
- Gilbert Highet (I had this moment when I completely tanked on the new version of the alphabet song and had my kids in hysterics)
And finally, a piece of wisdom from the wisest person I know-
"Don't drink too much."
- my mother
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Well, um, Actually a Pretty Nice Little Saturday
A much needed break this weekend. Getting home on Friday night I went into a four hour coma, only to wake up and have a date with my roommates, our couch, a huge bowl of guacamole, and a Blue Moon. YUM. Follow that with another 11 hours of sleep and you've got one recharged human being for the next morning.
I met with my Program Director at Starbucks to talk over the first week. She popped in on Thursday morning to observe my classroom (after a frantic e-mail on Wednesday night) and we talked a lot about how to make my room better and what to do if situations like Tuesday and Wednesday's happen again. I felt great afterward, so I decided to celebrate by buying two pairs of totally impractical stilettos with money that I don't have. When I say impractical, I mean that one pair is only appropriate for going OUT on the town (something I'll be doing so much, judging from my 7 pm bedtime Friday night). I proceeded to take a nap, take a shower, and curl my hair for a little over an hour. In short, I did NOTHING and it was absolutely glorious.
There was a TFA party in NoDa for three of our corps members' birthdays, and it was good to talk to other people who had problems in their first week too... made me feel a little less like a failure since everyone I had talked to before that had only thumbs up about everything they did. There was one college moment when Backstreet Boys and Journey came on, and it made me miss it (and the lack of responsibility, and the generally higher coolness level of my life).
BUT it's also energizing to think about what I'm doing now, even though it's hard as hell and I suck at it, because in the end I'm going to be doing something for these kids that may completely alter their futures. If I get them on and above grade level after this year, then they have a better chance being at the same place for second grade, third grade, fourth grade, and every grade after that. In that way, I feel like I can close the gap before it even starts. Even if they don't remember first grade, I think this age sticks with you whether you realize it or not.
My first grade teacher, Mrs. Roth (an ancient old lady who smelled like coffee), wrote on my last report card of first grade that someday I would write the Great American novel. Now, clearly I'm not there yet, not even close, but I majored in creative writing, I love writing, and it's something I think about every day as a future option. It wasn't her that defined it as a major life path for me, but she sure did see it coming.
Maybe that's what I'll be for these kids, some invisible force behind their whole education driving them towards that future goal of theirs, whatever it might be. I'm ending this post with a quote my mom sent me this week after the second day (and meltdown number 2):
"In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years."
- Jacques Barzun
I met with my Program Director at Starbucks to talk over the first week. She popped in on Thursday morning to observe my classroom (after a frantic e-mail on Wednesday night) and we talked a lot about how to make my room better and what to do if situations like Tuesday and Wednesday's happen again. I felt great afterward, so I decided to celebrate by buying two pairs of totally impractical stilettos with money that I don't have. When I say impractical, I mean that one pair is only appropriate for going OUT on the town (something I'll be doing so much, judging from my 7 pm bedtime Friday night). I proceeded to take a nap, take a shower, and curl my hair for a little over an hour. In short, I did NOTHING and it was absolutely glorious.
There was a TFA party in NoDa for three of our corps members' birthdays, and it was good to talk to other people who had problems in their first week too... made me feel a little less like a failure since everyone I had talked to before that had only thumbs up about everything they did. There was one college moment when Backstreet Boys and Journey came on, and it made me miss it (and the lack of responsibility, and the generally higher coolness level of my life).
BUT it's also energizing to think about what I'm doing now, even though it's hard as hell and I suck at it, because in the end I'm going to be doing something for these kids that may completely alter their futures. If I get them on and above grade level after this year, then they have a better chance being at the same place for second grade, third grade, fourth grade, and every grade after that. In that way, I feel like I can close the gap before it even starts. Even if they don't remember first grade, I think this age sticks with you whether you realize it or not.
My first grade teacher, Mrs. Roth (an ancient old lady who smelled like coffee), wrote on my last report card of first grade that someday I would write the Great American novel. Now, clearly I'm not there yet, not even close, but I majored in creative writing, I love writing, and it's something I think about every day as a future option. It wasn't her that defined it as a major life path for me, but she sure did see it coming.
Maybe that's what I'll be for these kids, some invisible force behind their whole education driving them towards that future goal of theirs, whatever it might be. I'm ending this post with a quote my mom sent me this week after the second day (and meltdown number 2):
"In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years."
- Jacques Barzun
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Ain't Nobody Gonna Die Today
The Nappy Roots song "Good Day" was the only thing that got me through this week. In case you couldn't judge from the first day post, it was not the easiest week. Probably the hardest one of my life.
The first two days were absolutely awful. My class, by the end of the first day, was out of control. I was overwhelmed and helpless (hence the cubby panic attack afterward). I had three tantrum throwers in my class, all of who needed constant attention. Try to tell them what to do, and they threw a fit. My attention was so focused on keeping those three at least semi-calm that other things broke down a little, so that when they DID explode, it was a disaster. The second day did not get much better. I had a bunch of people coming in and out of my classroom all day- my literacy facilitator/mentor, the '08 kindergarten teacher at my school, and one of our behavior technicians. Fit-thrower #1 had a meltdown in the morning and was screaming in the hallway with a TA for most of the morning. And when I say screaming, I mean the entire K-2 hallway heard her. The end of the day looked something like this- girl screaming and kicking under the listenening table, a boy crying on the carpet, and another boy face down in the reading area sobbing. THREE of the same type of challenges in one class.
Did I mention that my random seating chart had all of them at the same table?
DISASTER. I felt like a huge failure. To make matters worse, I didn't eat or drink water at all during those first two days because I'm with my kids ALL day. I looked like I had spent a few years in a desert without food, water, or sleep.
After school Wednesday, my principal called a 1st grade meeting and told us that my classroom was not working and that two of the three had to moved. I felt worse about that, feeling like I was getting bailed out and dumping all this work on my team members although the more I talk to people about it, the less I feel that way. Everyone knew these three had some emotional issues (one of them is classified as EC, which is special ed. in North Carolina) and combining them in the same class intensified all of those problems. It's like they were competing with each other for my attention, whether it was negative or positive.
So I'm left with one of the three, who is manageable by himself. I definitely have to adjust course with him because my classroom behavior system can set him off. I've talked to his mom about it, and she warned me about his manipulation skills (as did many other teachers). Today and Thursday were much, much better. No tears after the bus lot, actual LESSONS taking place in my classroom... all signs of improvement. And I'm realizing that (although TFA wants us to think that every single student action is a result of what we do) those kids acted that way because that is how they act, not necessarily because I was doing something wrong. At least not in the first day or two. Give me a week, and then misbehaviors will be my fault.
The best part about those kids being moved is that I can finally focus on the GREAT kids in my class. There are some real sweethearts and when it comes down to it, first graders are just so damn cute. They drive me crazy sometimes but they really are cute.
I've been really happy with how my interactions with parents have been going. I've called nine of the twenty-three, and so far, all of those that I talked to (including the ones I spoke to about bad behavior) were very supportive of me and really enthusastic about getting their kid back on track. That's probably why their kids get so upset for getting their color changed- their mommas will NOT let them hear the end of it.
So in short, I survived. I'm sure I'll think of some things that slid through the cracks, but as of now, I'm done.
The first two days were absolutely awful. My class, by the end of the first day, was out of control. I was overwhelmed and helpless (hence the cubby panic attack afterward). I had three tantrum throwers in my class, all of who needed constant attention. Try to tell them what to do, and they threw a fit. My attention was so focused on keeping those three at least semi-calm that other things broke down a little, so that when they DID explode, it was a disaster. The second day did not get much better. I had a bunch of people coming in and out of my classroom all day- my literacy facilitator/mentor, the '08 kindergarten teacher at my school, and one of our behavior technicians. Fit-thrower #1 had a meltdown in the morning and was screaming in the hallway with a TA for most of the morning. And when I say screaming, I mean the entire K-2 hallway heard her. The end of the day looked something like this- girl screaming and kicking under the listenening table, a boy crying on the carpet, and another boy face down in the reading area sobbing. THREE of the same type of challenges in one class.
Did I mention that my random seating chart had all of them at the same table?
DISASTER. I felt like a huge failure. To make matters worse, I didn't eat or drink water at all during those first two days because I'm with my kids ALL day. I looked like I had spent a few years in a desert without food, water, or sleep.
After school Wednesday, my principal called a 1st grade meeting and told us that my classroom was not working and that two of the three had to moved. I felt worse about that, feeling like I was getting bailed out and dumping all this work on my team members although the more I talk to people about it, the less I feel that way. Everyone knew these three had some emotional issues (one of them is classified as EC, which is special ed. in North Carolina) and combining them in the same class intensified all of those problems. It's like they were competing with each other for my attention, whether it was negative or positive.
So I'm left with one of the three, who is manageable by himself. I definitely have to adjust course with him because my classroom behavior system can set him off. I've talked to his mom about it, and she warned me about his manipulation skills (as did many other teachers). Today and Thursday were much, much better. No tears after the bus lot, actual LESSONS taking place in my classroom... all signs of improvement. And I'm realizing that (although TFA wants us to think that every single student action is a result of what we do) those kids acted that way because that is how they act, not necessarily because I was doing something wrong. At least not in the first day or two. Give me a week, and then misbehaviors will be my fault.
The best part about those kids being moved is that I can finally focus on the GREAT kids in my class. There are some real sweethearts and when it comes down to it, first graders are just so damn cute. They drive me crazy sometimes but they really are cute.
I've been really happy with how my interactions with parents have been going. I've called nine of the twenty-three, and so far, all of those that I talked to (including the ones I spoke to about bad behavior) were very supportive of me and really enthusastic about getting their kid back on track. That's probably why their kids get so upset for getting their color changed- their mommas will NOT let them hear the end of it.
So in short, I survived. I'm sure I'll think of some things that slid through the cracks, but as of now, I'm done.
We're gonna have a good day,
and all my homies gonna ride today,
and all these mommies look fly today,
and all I wanna do is get by today, heyyy
We're gonna have a good day,
and ain't nobody gonna cry today
'cause ain't nobody gonna die today
you can save that drama for another day, heyyy
and all my homies gonna ride today,
and all these mommies look fly today,
and all I wanna do is get by today, heyyy
We're gonna have a good day,
and ain't nobody gonna cry today
'cause ain't nobody gonna die today
you can save that drama for another day, heyyy
we're gonna have a good day
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
All I'm Going to Tell You
I can now say that an elementary janitor walked in on me having a panic attack in a teacher's cubby in the crouching fetal position at 3 pm.
I have a lot to improve.
I have a lot to improve.
Monday, August 24, 2009
I'm *surprise* Calm!!
I don't know what happened to me between yesterday (meltdown city) and today, but I have been super calm and excited and POSITIVE for tomorrow... all day long! I can only attribute it to one thing.
I have a tendency to text and answer phone calls in my sleep, and when people call me out on it I usually refuse to accept that I may not be in the most lucid state... pretty much just like my mom. Last night, when a late night phone call rolled in from a certain someone (my boyfriend), that happened. Normally, I go back and forth between asking how he is and incorporating him into whatever dream I'm having that night ("But why didn't you cook anything? I wanted you to cook something!"). Last night was no different. He called me, wanting to leave an encouraging voicemail (i.e. trying to fend off crazy Sara) but I foiled his plan and answered. The conversation went something like this:
"Hello?"
"I thought you'd be sleeping and I could leave you a nice voicemail."
"Then leave it!"
"But you answered."
"Leave me a voicemail!"
"But you answered."
"Do it! Leave one."
"You're going to be a great teacher, great teacher, great teacher, er, er, er..." (okay so it only echoed weirdly like that in my dream)
I think that's it. The subliminal late night encouragement got me going for a super productive and NOT meltdown stricken day. Let's hope it lasts until tomorrow morning!
I have a tendency to text and answer phone calls in my sleep, and when people call me out on it I usually refuse to accept that I may not be in the most lucid state... pretty much just like my mom. Last night, when a late night phone call rolled in from a certain someone (my boyfriend), that happened. Normally, I go back and forth between asking how he is and incorporating him into whatever dream I'm having that night ("But why didn't you cook anything? I wanted you to cook something!"). Last night was no different. He called me, wanting to leave an encouraging voicemail (i.e. trying to fend off crazy Sara) but I foiled his plan and answered. The conversation went something like this:
"Hello?"
"I thought you'd be sleeping and I could leave you a nice voicemail."
"Then leave it!"
"But you answered."
"Leave me a voicemail!"
"But you answered."
"Do it! Leave one."
"You're going to be a great teacher, great teacher, great teacher, er, er, er..." (okay so it only echoed weirdly like that in my dream)
I think that's it. The subliminal late night encouragement got me going for a super productive and NOT meltdown stricken day. Let's hope it lasts until tomorrow morning!
Maybe Blogging Will Keep Me Sane
Everyone... come see how good my classroom looks!!!
Twas' the night before first grade...
So the Big Day is tomorrow, and right now I feel... fine, actually. Surprising since I had no fewer than four meltdowns yesterday. I think part of it is feeling a lot better about my classroom and materials being ready. It looks so cute!! Maybe I'll just ditch my plans and make my kids sit on the carpet and compliment my teacher craftsmanship. Or I can do what I did when I learned how to read- sit on them and read Are You My Mother?
My team was (once again) awesome today. Together they ran off all of my copies for the math curriculum for the next few weeks and answered approximately 748 questions. Then the other TFA '09 corps member in my school helped me out hanging up my number line. I got a crick in my back (I'm 80 years old apparently) and had to stop climbing up and down the cabinets to hot glue gun the individual pieces.
I think my mom has been recruiting people to call me and keep me going off the deep end. First, my godmother called me last night to tell me about how nervous she was her first day, and still is even after 13 years of teaching. When I told her how nervous I was about getting kids home, she was like, "Oh, things like that have a way of figuring themselves out. I lost one of my kindergartners after an assembly my first day." Basically, I need to remember that everyone makes mistakes.
Then I talked to my mom's college roommate for awhile at the very end of school today. There's a whole crew that comes along with her (her husband, son, and daughter, along with another family) and I've known them since birth. Seven of us kids, and not one of us turned out normal. Usually, we go on a big vacation in August, renting a beach house and wreaking havoc by setting off fireworks (okay, maybe that's just Chris), but this year, the parents left the kids behind for a week in Vegas. Psh. We wanted to teach them a lesson, but none of us has any money to finance a trip capable of making them jealous of us. I'm missing all of them like crazy, especially knowing that are yearly New Year's Eve celebration may not be happening. Sad stuff.
But anyway, back to the phone call- she's a teacher in the NYC public school system, and she had a lot to say to boost my confidence. Mainly that the kids will love me and think I'm beautiful. I was hoping for that, because every once in awhile a girl needs a self-esteem lift. But really, all she had to say was extremely helpful and calming. For some reason, it makes me feel a lot better knowing that EVERYONE freaks out their first day of teaching. Maybe it's not feeling better but just accepting the inevitable.
Then of course, my dad called me from Manhattan, where he's taking my little brother to school to be an all-star laxer. He's so much more practical than I am. And he calls me out when I get upset over "stupid shit" (i.e. poorly laminated nameplates). I'll end this post with his best advice.
"Just remember- it's the greatest job in the world."
"When it comes down to it, no matter who you're teaching, you're smarter than them. You can always pull that card."
"Shut up and run."
Okay, maybe that last one didn't happen in our most recent conversation, but part of me wants to take that bit of advice and run away to South Carolina or something. Gah. Wish me luck.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Why Is It Always Cloudy On Sundays?!
You're totally cramping my style, Sunday. Cloudy AGAIN, just like last week. Actually, last week there was a mini monsoon that almost washed my roommates away in their cars when they went out, but I'm still grouping it in with cloudy. I was hoping that since this is my final day of summer vacation (some summer vacation it's been, working basically non stop) I could get some time by the glorious pool in my apartment complex but no, Sunday has to come along and ruin those plans. It's probably for the better, since today is supposed to be my big work day.
I never thought I'd be saying this (ever), but I'm really missing the idea of going back to Trin and starting pre-season workouts. NOW, before you go and call me crazy for pining away for two- and three-a-day practices, let me explain myself. Something about teaching that caught me off guard is the whole beg, borrow, steal part. Have a good idea? You share it. See something you like? You take it. The whole sense of competition is turned backwards and upside down. It's kind of disappeared. When it comes down to it, "competing" against other teachers really means competing against their kids. Which goes against every logical idea of equal education that I've ever heard.
I'm dying for competition. Or for someone to just kick my butt, making me run sprints until I wanna throw up or stand in ready position until my quads want to break in half. I don't have that anymore and I really, REALLY miss it. That feeling where even when you laugh you can feel the muscles you worked the day before. On that note- muscles? Mine are allllll gone. Interesting, because I've always want my legs to get smaller, but now it's only because all the muscle has melted away, leaving me barely able to squat down to pick up a broken crayon.
A couple other corps members and I are talking a lot about training for a half-marathon in December, which may be just what I need. IF (a big if) I can get myself to do the running. We'll see how that goes.
Anyone lucky enough to still be competing and on a sports team- a college sports team mainly, because there is no other feeling like that- DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. It is hands down the most positive experience of my life, even with all the times I said I hated it and thought I wanted to give up and quit. I'd love that have that back.
I never thought I'd be saying this (ever), but I'm really missing the idea of going back to Trin and starting pre-season workouts. NOW, before you go and call me crazy for pining away for two- and three-a-day practices, let me explain myself. Something about teaching that caught me off guard is the whole beg, borrow, steal part. Have a good idea? You share it. See something you like? You take it. The whole sense of competition is turned backwards and upside down. It's kind of disappeared. When it comes down to it, "competing" against other teachers really means competing against their kids. Which goes against every logical idea of equal education that I've ever heard.
I'm dying for competition. Or for someone to just kick my butt, making me run sprints until I wanna throw up or stand in ready position until my quads want to break in half. I don't have that anymore and I really, REALLY miss it. That feeling where even when you laugh you can feel the muscles you worked the day before. On that note- muscles? Mine are allllll gone. Interesting, because I've always want my legs to get smaller, but now it's only because all the muscle has melted away, leaving me barely able to squat down to pick up a broken crayon.
A couple other corps members and I are talking a lot about training for a half-marathon in December, which may be just what I need. IF (a big if) I can get myself to do the running. We'll see how that goes.
Anyone lucky enough to still be competing and on a sports team- a college sports team mainly, because there is no other feeling like that- DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. It is hands down the most positive experience of my life, even with all the times I said I hated it and thought I wanted to give up and quit. I'd love that have that back.
PART TWO
My post from earlier was not-so-rudely interrupted by a little movie date to see The Time Traveler's Wife. I probably would have/will like the book more (because that's how I am) but overall it was pretty good, if not a little too sad. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE Rachel McAdams though. LOVE. It may be a borderline obesession, actually.
Anyway, after going to see that, my roommate and I went to the teacher store and spent a good hour wandering around wishing that we could take everything we saw home. It had everything- books, bulletin board cut-outs, classroom storage, PEOPLE crayons (yes, people crayons)- you name it. Then there was a little TFA gathering for a corps member's birthday, and we got to eat lots of delicious barbecue food and have some beers and pretend we were all ready for the first day of school.
Now I'll detour back to the one thing I did want to talk about in my earlier post, which was my teacher-ific Friday night. After leaving school (nearly 12 hours after I got there), I stopped by the TFA office because Charlotte teen organized a book drive for our classrooms. When I heard that, I figured it would be akin to the garage sale selections at Classroom Central and thrift stores, a lot of options but mostly unknown titles with disintegrating pages and torn covers.
I was way off. What this kid did was AMAZING. There were thousand of books, many of them brand new, and many of them library essentials. I completed my Dr. Suess collection (my absolute favorite children's author) and ended up with a huge box full of all kinds of books. I had quite a good time going through them when I got home, all while watching Grease and sharpening pencils until the motor to my electric pencil sharpener overheated and stopped working. I fell asleep on the floor promptly after that at about... oh, 10 pm. Overall, it was clearly a good Friday.
Tomorrow is a big day with lots of planning to do... which reminds me that the book I ordered came in today- Big Plans, by Bob Shea, a nice mixture of "Oh The Places You'll Go" and "The Stinky Cheese Man." When I first read it, I was laughing so hard about the idea of turning a skunk into a hat that I practically couldn't finish it. But, it reminds me of my own Big Plans (big plans, I say) and has become one of my new children's favorites (behind Dr. Suess, of couse).
Time to get to bed, although not before making another long to-do list for tomorrow. Hopefully, if I'm productive enough, I'll get enough done tomorrow that I'll have Monday night to breathe and sleep a little before *gasp* my first day. More than likely, though, I'll have to rely on the people that keep me sane to talk me down from escaping to Mexico (a serious possibility) and get me to realize that teaching IS for me, but no one is perfect at it, even 30 years down the road. Looks like ya'll (yes, ya'll... I live in the south now) have a big job in front of you.
Anyway, after going to see that, my roommate and I went to the teacher store and spent a good hour wandering around wishing that we could take everything we saw home. It had everything- books, bulletin board cut-outs, classroom storage, PEOPLE crayons (yes, people crayons)- you name it. Then there was a little TFA gathering for a corps member's birthday, and we got to eat lots of delicious barbecue food and have some beers and pretend we were all ready for the first day of school.
Now I'll detour back to the one thing I did want to talk about in my earlier post, which was my teacher-ific Friday night. After leaving school (nearly 12 hours after I got there), I stopped by the TFA office because Charlotte teen organized a book drive for our classrooms. When I heard that, I figured it would be akin to the garage sale selections at Classroom Central and thrift stores, a lot of options but mostly unknown titles with disintegrating pages and torn covers.
I was way off. What this kid did was AMAZING. There were thousand of books, many of them brand new, and many of them library essentials. I completed my Dr. Suess collection (my absolute favorite children's author) and ended up with a huge box full of all kinds of books. I had quite a good time going through them when I got home, all while watching Grease and sharpening pencils until the motor to my electric pencil sharpener overheated and stopped working. I fell asleep on the floor promptly after that at about... oh, 10 pm. Overall, it was clearly a good Friday.
Tomorrow is a big day with lots of planning to do... which reminds me that the book I ordered came in today- Big Plans, by Bob Shea, a nice mixture of "Oh The Places You'll Go" and "The Stinky Cheese Man." When I first read it, I was laughing so hard about the idea of turning a skunk into a hat that I practically couldn't finish it. But, it reminds me of my own Big Plans (big plans, I say) and has become one of my new children's favorites (behind Dr. Suess, of couse).
Time to get to bed, although not before making another long to-do list for tomorrow. Hopefully, if I'm productive enough, I'll get enough done tomorrow that I'll have Monday night to breathe and sleep a little before *gasp* my first day. More than likely, though, I'll have to rely on the people that keep me sane to talk me down from escaping to Mexico (a serious possibility) and get me to realize that teaching IS for me, but no one is perfect at it, even 30 years down the road. Looks like ya'll (yes, ya'll... I live in the south now) have a big job in front of you.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
If You Give a Teacher Some Free Stuff...
...then they will take all that they can get their hands on!
One thing I've learned about teachers is that they are vultures when it comes to stuff. It doesn't matter what it is, but they're always on alert for things that are up for grabs (and things that are NOT, like the carpet that was missing in my room until yesterday). My school is partnering with a private school in the area and they donated TONS of books and school supplies to us. It was a madhouse when it came to distributing it- folders flying everywhere, people tossing books on overhead carts. I think I had a gluestick stuck in my hair.
In the end I came out with a decent amount of stuff- more books for my classroom library and supplies and what not.
Open House was on Thursday, and my class roster increased from 20 to 22. I had 17 parents come in, which was great, especially since some of their kids were on vacation or with grandparents. I got a lot of looks that I assume were saying, "Really? You're a teacher? You don't even look like you've graduated high school." but all in all they were pretty great. All the kids seemed excited, even though my room is bare compared to the other classrooms in the K-2 hall. Afterward, I had a MINOR (and by minor, I mean major) meltdown. I think because it finally became real and I realized how much more I have to do. It was not pretty. Not pretty at all. Barely got any sleep that night because I was so worried about not being ready for my kids, resulting in their parents chasing after me with torches and pitchforks.
Thankfully, I have a lot of people in my life to do damage control when that happens. Mainly, my mother, who must have been rolling her eyes when I called in hysterics Thursday night. But then others too, like my roommates who made cookies for me :) and my boyfriend who manages to get me to stop talking about teaching so I can relax a bit. Then, the most important people- my school team. I swear, these people were made to make first year teachers feel at home. All the other first year teachers have been phenomenal, giving me ideas, giving me supplies, telling me what to do and what not to do. Then my mentor, also a literacy facilitator, walked me through an entire first day to let me know what I needed to do. It was just what I needed.
...more to come later, I'm heading to a movie date :)
One thing I've learned about teachers is that they are vultures when it comes to stuff. It doesn't matter what it is, but they're always on alert for things that are up for grabs (and things that are NOT, like the carpet that was missing in my room until yesterday). My school is partnering with a private school in the area and they donated TONS of books and school supplies to us. It was a madhouse when it came to distributing it- folders flying everywhere, people tossing books on overhead carts. I think I had a gluestick stuck in my hair.
In the end I came out with a decent amount of stuff- more books for my classroom library and supplies and what not.
Open House was on Thursday, and my class roster increased from 20 to 22. I had 17 parents come in, which was great, especially since some of their kids were on vacation or with grandparents. I got a lot of looks that I assume were saying, "Really? You're a teacher? You don't even look like you've graduated high school." but all in all they were pretty great. All the kids seemed excited, even though my room is bare compared to the other classrooms in the K-2 hall. Afterward, I had a MINOR (and by minor, I mean major) meltdown. I think because it finally became real and I realized how much more I have to do. It was not pretty. Not pretty at all. Barely got any sleep that night because I was so worried about not being ready for my kids, resulting in their parents chasing after me with torches and pitchforks.
Thankfully, I have a lot of people in my life to do damage control when that happens. Mainly, my mother, who must have been rolling her eyes when I called in hysterics Thursday night. But then others too, like my roommates who made cookies for me :) and my boyfriend who manages to get me to stop talking about teaching so I can relax a bit. Then, the most important people- my school team. I swear, these people were made to make first year teachers feel at home. All the other first year teachers have been phenomenal, giving me ideas, giving me supplies, telling me what to do and what not to do. Then my mentor, also a literacy facilitator, walked me through an entire first day to let me know what I needed to do. It was just what I needed.
...more to come later, I'm heading to a movie date :)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Overwhelmed
My to do list is a mile long and it seems like there is no way to possibly get everything done that needs to be done. So it's good that I'm blogging rather than doing it... right?
I think I just need to chill out and breathe, stop worrying about things like gigantic bulletin boards to decorate. What is that saying? The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step? In teaching, it begins with 800, all at once, with laminating residue sticking to your leg.
I think I just need to chill out and breathe, stop worrying about things like gigantic bulletin boards to decorate. What is that saying? The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step? In teaching, it begins with 800, all at once, with laminating residue sticking to your leg.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A Seriously Intense Statistic
Children who are the first to attend college in their families end poverty for their own families FOREVER.
I forgot about hearing that one at the end of TFA Orientation, but it's the most powerful (powerful and positive) one that I've heard.
I forgot about hearing that one at the end of TFA Orientation, but it's the most powerful (powerful and positive) one that I've heard.
A Seriously Intense To-Do List
First REAL day in my school, with all the staff working and meeting and conversing. Which was cool, in a way, although it's really difficult to learn people's names when they introduce themselves by first names and others reference them by last name. (i.e. "I'm looking for Miss Hall." "I am Miss Hall." ... Whoops.) I've gotten really used to hearing "What do you mean you don't have/know how to *insert absolutely vital teacher knowledge or action here*?" but surprisingly it's not worrying me that much. We'll see if I'm on the same page tomorrow when my classroom walls are still blank and I'm trying to make math weather calendars for the rest of the year (what does that even mean?).
On an exciting note, I got to go to a totally awesome nonprofit organization today called Classroom Central. People donate office supplies, school supplies... actually, pretty much anything and teachers make appointments to go in and "shop" for free. I ended up getting a TON of stuff- poster paper, foam board, die-cuts, colored pencils and crayons, composition books- and almost getting run over by frantic carts of first year teachers. It was well worth it though. This is definitely an organization people should support. I didn't realize until very recently how much of their own money teachers spend until I was snatching up 22 cent glue sticks at Target like a crazy person.
This is serving as my main method of procrastination for the loads and loads of things I could/should be doing now, but I need some down time after the shopping craze and the whirlwind (yes, whirlwind) that was today. It's getting me so excited, but more in the way where I want to make my to-do list aesthetically pleasing and in alphabetical order than actually get down to doing the real work. Oh well. At least it's a start.
On an exciting note, I got to go to a totally awesome nonprofit organization today called Classroom Central. People donate office supplies, school supplies... actually, pretty much anything and teachers make appointments to go in and "shop" for free. I ended up getting a TON of stuff- poster paper, foam board, die-cuts, colored pencils and crayons, composition books- and almost getting run over by frantic carts of first year teachers. It was well worth it though. This is definitely an organization people should support. I didn't realize until very recently how much of their own money teachers spend until I was snatching up 22 cent glue sticks at Target like a crazy person.
This is serving as my main method of procrastination for the loads and loads of things I could/should be doing now, but I need some down time after the shopping craze and the whirlwind (yes, whirlwind) that was today. It's getting me so excited, but more in the way where I want to make my to-do list aesthetically pleasing and in alphabetical order than actually get down to doing the real work. Oh well. At least it's a start.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
In Denial
A good theme for this weekend, because I'm choosing to ignore a number of things about my life right now. Denial #1: the fact that I sat outside by the pool today for a good hour, even though it was cloudy the WHOLE time with ominous sounding thunder rumbling in the distance. It didn't really stop me from lounging in my bathing suit as if it were 80 degrees and impossibly sunny.
Denial #2: reading this cartoon book "French Milk" that my aunt gave me and telling myself that I'll go back to Europe soon and chronicle it in the same way. I actually planned out in my head that I'll go to Rome during spring break and stay in the Hotel Aventino with Franca and her creepy cats just like when I was living there. I don't even want to go for any of the museums or the sights or anything. I just want to eat. And maybe run my little 4 mile circuit I used to do through Testaccio and along the Tiber River. That would be a big maybe. The more probable outcome would be that I would subsist solely on pizza from Dar Poeta and Remo's, with occasional breaks for Giaccomini's panini with homemade pesto. Yum.
Which leads into Denial #3- that I haven't been paid in four months and have about $20 to my name. This one is the reason for my self-proclaimed "chill" weekend, since I had to leave the TFA monster dance party Friday night early after running out of money and stay in Saturday night in order to be able to eat for the next two weeks.
And finally, the BIG BIG denial that I am totally prepared for school starting... which I'm not. Although I'm not sure if this is denial as much as just acceptance that no matter how much I plan and examine the curriculum and clean my room it will probably all be stomped to bits by my little students. Either way, I'm not really feeling all that stressed (yet). Come the night before school starts, though, and I'll probably be calling my mother from the fetal position and lamenting about my failure as a teacher, planner, and human being.
Along those lines, I ordered the book "Big Plans" by Bob Shea from Amazon yesterday. Even though it's meant for those under the age of 8, I loved it. Especially the skunk hat. It prompted me to search Amazon for one of those as well, which is probably why I am so broke (and unprepared. I mean, of all the things I need to do for my classroom, I choose to search for a "stinky luck" hat). Oh well.
I guess I'll just go back to the stage of denial by searching for flights to Rome.
Denial #2: reading this cartoon book "French Milk" that my aunt gave me and telling myself that I'll go back to Europe soon and chronicle it in the same way. I actually planned out in my head that I'll go to Rome during spring break and stay in the Hotel Aventino with Franca and her creepy cats just like when I was living there. I don't even want to go for any of the museums or the sights or anything. I just want to eat. And maybe run my little 4 mile circuit I used to do through Testaccio and along the Tiber River. That would be a big maybe. The more probable outcome would be that I would subsist solely on pizza from Dar Poeta and Remo's, with occasional breaks for Giaccomini's panini with homemade pesto. Yum.
Which leads into Denial #3- that I haven't been paid in four months and have about $20 to my name. This one is the reason for my self-proclaimed "chill" weekend, since I had to leave the TFA monster dance party Friday night early after running out of money and stay in Saturday night in order to be able to eat for the next two weeks.
And finally, the BIG BIG denial that I am totally prepared for school starting... which I'm not. Although I'm not sure if this is denial as much as just acceptance that no matter how much I plan and examine the curriculum and clean my room it will probably all be stomped to bits by my little students. Either way, I'm not really feeling all that stressed (yet). Come the night before school starts, though, and I'll probably be calling my mother from the fetal position and lamenting about my failure as a teacher, planner, and human being.
Along those lines, I ordered the book "Big Plans" by Bob Shea from Amazon yesterday. Even though it's meant for those under the age of 8, I loved it. Especially the skunk hat. It prompted me to search Amazon for one of those as well, which is probably why I am so broke (and unprepared. I mean, of all the things I need to do for my classroom, I choose to search for a "stinky luck" hat). Oh well.
I guess I'll just go back to the stage of denial by searching for flights to Rome.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Start of It All...
So here it is- the blog of all blogs following me as I shape and mold the little 6-year-old baby brains of North Carolina. I figured this would be a good way to keep everyone on track with what I'm doing as far as TFA goes so that when I do have time for those precious little phone calls, I don't feel the need to go on and on about how so-and-so broke his pencil eight times in the course of twenty minutes.
No teaching yet, just orientation. I'm getting used to the school, setting up my BEAUTIFUL classroom (that is completely blank and boring right now), meeting tons and tons of teachers, and hole-punching a whole lot of handbooks, calendars, and procedures for my special new teacher binder. WOO. I think I'm actually transforming into a teacher too, which is a pretty strange thing to experience. I'm finding myself picking up cardigans and orthopedic flats with a lot more interest than I used to, plus I'm spending entirely too much time in Staples, Books a Million, and the "See Spot Save Back to School Specials" section in Target. A more shameful part of being a teacher is the fact that I ask if there's a teacher discount everywhere- clothing stores, restaurants, gas stations... you name it, I ask.
Tomorrow is curriculum training for elementary, which means lots of talk about reading comprehension and fluency and all that fun stuff. All of that is making this a real thing. That I'll actually be in charge of small children. Yikes. It's a little overwhelming. On the bright side, I finally get to let loose and act like a complete fool because kids love that kind of stuff. AND the most important part- reading out loud!! I finally have people who HAVE to listen to me do it... makes me so so excited.
No teaching yet, just orientation. I'm getting used to the school, setting up my BEAUTIFUL classroom (that is completely blank and boring right now), meeting tons and tons of teachers, and hole-punching a whole lot of handbooks, calendars, and procedures for my special new teacher binder. WOO. I think I'm actually transforming into a teacher too, which is a pretty strange thing to experience. I'm finding myself picking up cardigans and orthopedic flats with a lot more interest than I used to, plus I'm spending entirely too much time in Staples, Books a Million, and the "See Spot Save Back to School Specials" section in Target. A more shameful part of being a teacher is the fact that I ask if there's a teacher discount everywhere- clothing stores, restaurants, gas stations... you name it, I ask.
Tomorrow is curriculum training for elementary, which means lots of talk about reading comprehension and fluency and all that fun stuff. All of that is making this a real thing. That I'll actually be in charge of small children. Yikes. It's a little overwhelming. On the bright side, I finally get to let loose and act like a complete fool because kids love that kind of stuff. AND the most important part- reading out loud!! I finally have people who HAVE to listen to me do it... makes me so so excited.
That's all for now. Goodnight!
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