Ain't Nobody Gonna Die Today

The Nappy Roots song "Good Day" was the only thing that got me through this week. In case you couldn't judge from the first day post, it was not the easiest week. Probably the hardest one of my life.

The first two days were absolutely awful. My class, by the end of the first day, was out of control. I was overwhelmed and helpless (hence the cubby panic attack afterward). I had three tantrum throwers in my class, all of who needed constant attention. Try to tell them what to do, and they threw a fit. My attention was so focused on keeping those three at least semi-calm that other things broke down a little, so that when they DID explode, it was a disaster. The second day did not get much better. I had a bunch of people coming in and out of my classroom all day- my literacy facilitator/mentor, the '08 kindergarten teacher at my school, and one of our behavior technicians. Fit-thrower #1 had a meltdown in the morning and was screaming in the hallway with a TA for most of the morning. And when I say screaming, I mean the entire K-2 hallway heard her. The end of the day looked something like this- girl screaming and kicking under the listenening table, a boy crying on the carpet, and another boy face down in the reading area sobbing. THREE of the same type of challenges in one class.

Did I mention that my random seating chart had all of them at the same table?

DISASTER. I felt like a huge failure. To make matters worse, I didn't eat or drink water at all during those first two days because I'm with my kids ALL day. I looked like I had spent a few years in a desert without food, water, or sleep.

After school Wednesday, my principal called a 1st grade meeting and told us that my classroom was not working and that two of the three had to moved. I felt worse about that, feeling like I was getting bailed out and dumping all this work on my team members although the more I talk to people about it, the less I feel that way. Everyone knew these three had some emotional issues (one of them is classified as EC, which is special ed. in North Carolina) and combining them in the same class intensified all of those problems. It's like they were competing with each other for my attention, whether it was negative or positive.

So I'm left with one of the three, who is manageable by himself. I definitely have to adjust course with him because my classroom behavior system can set him off. I've talked to his mom about it, and she warned me about his manipulation skills (as did many other teachers). Today and Thursday were much, much better. No tears after the bus lot, actual LESSONS taking place in my classroom... all signs of improvement. And I'm realizing that (although TFA wants us to think that every single student action is a result of what we do) those kids acted that way because that is how they act, not necessarily because I was doing something wrong. At least not in the first day or two. Give me a week, and then misbehaviors will be my fault.

The best part about those kids being moved is that I can finally focus on the GREAT kids in my class. There are some real sweethearts and when it comes down to it, first graders are just so damn cute. They drive me crazy sometimes but they really are cute.

I've been really happy with how my interactions with parents have been going. I've called nine of the twenty-three, and so far, all of those that I talked to (including the ones I spoke to about bad behavior) were very supportive of me and really enthusastic about getting their kid back on track. That's probably why their kids get so upset for getting their color changed- their mommas will NOT let them hear the end of it.

So in short, I survived. I'm sure I'll think of some things that slid through the cracks, but as of now, I'm done.

We're gonna have a good day,
and all my homies gonna ride today,
and all these mommies look fly today,
and all I wanna do is get by today, heyyy
We're gonna have a good day,
and ain't nobody gonna cry today
'cause ain't nobody gonna die today
you can save that drama for another day, heyyy

we're gonna have a good day