In Denial

A good theme for this weekend, because I'm choosing to ignore a number of things about my life right now. Denial #1: the fact that I sat outside by the pool today for a good hour, even though it was cloudy the WHOLE time with ominous sounding thunder rumbling in the distance. It didn't really stop me from lounging in my bathing suit as if it were 80 degrees and impossibly sunny.

Denial #2: reading this cartoon book "French Milk" that my aunt gave me and telling myself that I'll go back to Europe soon and chronicle it in the same way. I actually planned out in my head that I'll go to Rome during spring break and stay in the Hotel Aventino with Franca and her creepy cats just like when I was living there. I don't even want to go for any of the museums or the sights or anything. I just want to eat. And maybe run my little 4 mile circuit I used to do through Testaccio and along the Tiber River. That would be a big maybe. The more probable outcome would be that I would subsist solely on pizza from Dar Poeta and Remo's, with occasional breaks for Giaccomini's panini with homemade pesto. Yum.

Which leads into Denial #3- that I haven't been paid in four months and have about $20 to my name. This one is the reason for my self-proclaimed "chill" weekend, since I had to leave the TFA monster dance party Friday night early after running out of money and stay in Saturday night in order to be able to eat for the next two weeks.

And finally, the BIG BIG denial that I am totally prepared for school starting... which I'm not. Although I'm not sure if this is denial as much as just acceptance that no matter how much I plan and examine the curriculum and clean my room it will probably all be stomped to bits by my little students. Either way, I'm not really feeling all that stressed (yet). Come the night before school starts, though, and I'll probably be calling my mother from the fetal position and lamenting about my failure as a teacher, planner, and human being.

Along those lines, I ordered the book "Big Plans" by Bob Shea from Amazon yesterday. Even though it's meant for those under the age of 8, I loved it. Especially the skunk hat. It prompted me to search Amazon for one of those as well, which is probably why I am so broke (and unprepared. I mean, of all the things I need to do for my classroom, I choose to search for a "stinky luck" hat). Oh well.

I guess I'll just go back to the stage of denial by searching for flights to Rome.