"Is This What Ya'll Want?!"

For some reason, I'm about 90% more inclined to use "ya'll" when I'm angry at my class. Which is usually about... four hours out of the day. It's becoming more and more prevalent as March unveils their true personalities, showing me that my kids are actually the spawn of every ADHD individual that has ever lived. Not necessarily the devil, because alone each one of them is bearable, likable even (most of the time). But together, I need a misting hose of Adderall to contain their activity, a blowhorn to get their attention, and a three gallon tub of Starburst jelly beans to even begin to motivate them to sit still.

The computer teacher asked me how I survived without keeping a switch in my classroom. The music teacher offered me 5% of his salary. The pregnant art teacher just rubbed the bridge of her nose and said, "You have a very active class this year, Ms. Fiorillo." Even the secretary (who frequently pages our BMT for me) told me she was praying for me. What's the deal, kids?!

It was another day of them coming out of specials being scolded for their group behavior, only to be skipping down the hall spastically knocking down student work because they prefer looking like they're in a Dance Dance Revolution commercial rather than regular elementary students walking down the hallway.

Flash forward five minutes and there I am, talking at a pretty loud volume.

"Is this what you want?" I say. "To drive your teacher crazy? To send her running out that back door flailing her arms and screaming like she's being chased by bees?! IS THIS WHAT YA'LL WANT?!"

Silence. Then the crack.

"Did she just say ya'll?" Two kids fall out of their chairs and a strand Jha'Nya's plastic hair beads come loose and bounce dramatically on the floor. Three kids lay out to try to pick them up first. At the same time, Sean makes a farting noise with his mouth by accident and Immanuel proclaims loudly that he will use it on himself if he isn't allowed to go to the bathroom immediately.

Another typical day.