...or lull in the storm, clearing in the clouds, other overused cliche...
Today was a pretty great day. I think because my one "behavior challenge" kid was sick so I could really focus on the rest of the class. Not that I even did that good of a job with that, because I'm still letting way too much go with discipline. Ugh. I need to become much more explicit with what I want them to do, because 6 years olds can't really do anything unless they have exact directions. They're cute as hell, but tell them to stand in line and they'll look at you like you have 17 arms or something.
Anyway, the calm (er) day gave me a chance to actually look beyond the very minute I was teaching in to what the rest of the year would be like- what it will be like once I finally settle in. I'm starting to feel a lot more comfortable in front of my kids and I think the renewed confidence is making me a much better and more consistent teacher. And it's only day 7!
I need to get to that point though. Right now I'm just waiting for it to happen, and while I know that some of it will just come, I need to start working to make myself better for my students. I've been very self-centered about this whole process, and I think now I'm realizing the things that I have to provide for them
Looking for a book in my library, I stumbled on the Dr. Suess beginner book "I Can Read With My Eyes Shut." The inside cover was marked with my parents writing- "To Sari: never stop reading. Love, Mommy and Daddy."
Do these kids have that in their lives? Will they ever? Some of them do. Some of them APPEAR to have that, but who knows what's really going on. It's my job to be that person in their life now. Big shoes to fill. I should go plan.
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