Heavy on the Head

Since coming back to Charlotte, I've been spending most of my free time figuring out law school stuff (the remainder of that free time is probably spent wandering around aimlessly in Target) and it's making my head hurt.  First of all, I have to study for the LSAT and have found myself dreaming of doctors labeled F,G, H, J, K and of their X, Y, Z patients.  Or of factories A, B, C and their coincidental processing of products that conveniently start with sequential letters of the alphabet (i.e. steel, timber, and uranium).  On top of that, I've been navigating TFA's partnerships with various schools, deciding arbitrarily to apply to any school that waives the application fee and happens to fall in my general bubble of geographical acceptability (which probably covers the entire country).

All this time I'm wondering if this is really what I want to do, or simply the easiest next step.  Most people pretty much have their whole life decided for them up to age 22, but then we get out of college and have a minor (or major) freak out because there are so many acceptable paths.  The easiest one is continuing to go to school.  After seventeen years of being a student, most of us are pretty good at it (or at least used to it), so its the most comfortable choice.  After working for a year, I am fully NOT in support of people going to more school right after school, except maybe med school (and even then, I'm skeptical).  It puts off the real world, with real bills and real work hours.  Plus you don't get paid (and even if you're getting a small paycheck, it's pretty liberating to be "living on your own," even if that means eating spaghetti every night and using sugar-free Popsicles as a replacement for air-conditioning).  And, most importantly, you get out with these great academic qualifications... and no work experience.  None.  The last one's more of an opinion of mine, but pretty true nonetheless.

In light of all that, I'm still thinking of going back to school because it's the safe choice.  It puts the next job decision on the back burner and lets me do what I love doing- reading and writing papers- all while escaping from the life where a real live paycheck let me pay my real live bills.  Now it will be a real live interest accruing loan paying my real live bills instead.  Is that really what I want to do?  Who knows.  But at least it's keeping me busy.